Seems like things are shakin'

Well My friends,

I am still wondering why do I waste my time writing this blog. It seems like I do it for my own benefit to just get stuff off of my chest. Today my stress test was a success. My cardiologist gave me the clearance for surgery. I also met with the surgeon to go over the new procedure. Believe it or not, I was very excited about getting this surgery, but now it seems to have caused me more grief than it may be worth.

I really need to change my life. I want to be healthy and be able to live a productive life. I honestly think that I was not impulsive in my decision to proceed with the Gastric Bypass. I understand that my Susan is fearful about the possible complications, but there can be complications with any surgery. I just can't help but feeling a deep sadness inside me. I want to make my wife happy in any way I can, but how can I make her happy if I am not happy with myself?

I need to make the necessary changes in ME so that I can be a better man and a better husband. I can't help but to feel that she is angry for my decision. More than anything I wanted her approval, but like my wife says: "People in Hell want Ice Water". You can't have your cake and eat it to. If this surgery turns out to be a flop, I will have to deal with the consequences. I know that it will also affect my family. But I strongly feel that this surgery will be beneficial for my life.

Why do I feel that I am being selfish? It feels like I am thinking of nothing but myself. But I assure you that this is not the case. It is because that I want a long and healthy life with my family, that I made this decision. I have a problem vocalizing my feelings, but it seems like I am much better and writing my feelings down. So, at this venture it seems like the surgery is a go. Friday December 10th will be the day that my life will change.

I will keep ya'll posted after the surgery.

See ya' Soon...