Hello Again My Favorite People on the Planet!
Why am I feeling ELATION right now? I got my surgery and it was a success! Thank God! Sheeew....
Today it has been a Week and a\One Day. I have now lost a total of 23 Pounds in a week. This is so surreal to me. I am only 19 Pounds away from leaving the 300 Pound Mark. My God, I am so grateful!
I have not seen the 200's in decades. Then on to meeting the goal. My nutritionist said that I should be at 190 Pounds by October 2011 therefore I may reach 175 Pounds by my 42 Birthday in November. Still, till this day I am trying to wrap my head around this and it feels like a dream. I notice my clothes getting bigger, but I still can't see a change in me when I look in the mirror. I guess that will come with time. I try to take some pictures of myself every week just to see the transition.
Perhaps doing it this way, I can eventually see the changes. What makes me the happiest is the change in my relationship with food. I look at food now as a source of energy and not just to give myself comfort. Although I have never really looked at food as a comforter, however I still salivated when I saw the Arby's and the Sonic Commercials. Not any more. I pray to God that this attitude continues.
What does my heart good is the support system that I have at home. My Susan has been with me every step of the way and following my diet as well. She has done so awesome and has lost a good amount of weight. It is beginning to look visible in her face and in her clothing. I am so grateful for her and so proud of her. I am also proud of my son Alex. He has cut back on the quantity of food that he eats and he stopped eating at night. There will be no one left behind in the Bermudez Household.
I have my dear friends pledging some weight loss to by May 2011. I am so glad for the support system that I have and the Family and Friends that God has blessed me with. As the days and weeks progress, I will keep you all in informed as changes occur. Thank you once again to my Susan, Alex and my Friends David and Erin. I love you all.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Hello Again My Favorite People on the Planet!
Posted by From the Heart of Alex at 10:37 AM
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Well My friends,
I am still wondering why do I waste my time writing this blog. It seems like I do it for my own benefit to just get stuff off of my chest. Today my stress test was a success. My cardiologist gave me the clearance for surgery. I also met with the surgeon to go over the new procedure. Believe it or not, I was very excited about getting this surgery, but now it seems to have caused me more grief than it may be worth.
I really need to change my life. I want to be healthy and be able to live a productive life. I honestly think that I was not impulsive in my decision to proceed with the Gastric Bypass. I understand that my Susan is fearful about the possible complications, but there can be complications with any surgery. I just can't help but feeling a deep sadness inside me. I want to make my wife happy in any way I can, but how can I make her happy if I am not happy with myself?
I need to make the necessary changes in ME so that I can be a better man and a better husband. I can't help but to feel that she is angry for my decision. More than anything I wanted her approval, but like my wife says: "People in Hell want Ice Water". You can't have your cake and eat it to. If this surgery turns out to be a flop, I will have to deal with the consequences. I know that it will also affect my family. But I strongly feel that this surgery will be beneficial for my life.
Why do I feel that I am being selfish? It feels like I am thinking of nothing but myself. But I assure you that this is not the case. It is because that I want a long and healthy life with my family, that I made this decision. I have a problem vocalizing my feelings, but it seems like I am much better and writing my feelings down. So, at this venture it seems like the surgery is a go. Friday December 10th will be the day that my life will change.
I will keep ya'll posted after the surgery.
See ya' Soon...
Posted by From the Heart of Alex at 9:24 PM
Monday, December 6, 2010
These past couple of days have been quite trying on my patience. I thought that the Pre-Admission Testing would work out, but it didn't work out as I anticipated. Because of the whole incident with the Heart Attack on the EKG, now I must undergo an Echo Cardiogram and a Stress Test. I passed the test because I am STRESSED. I am only a few days away from the surgery on Friday and I still do not have the Cardiac Clearance.
I believe that Wednesday will be the day I get the clearance, but will it be too late? I am hoping that this works out. If it does, that would make my year.... I have started the liquid diet today. It has been ok. I just gotta ignore the hunger and I will be fine. I am happy that I have not had need for insulin. The protein shakes and Chicken Broth works wonders. I am looking forward to more of the fabulous changes in my life and body.
On Wednesday I will let you all know the status....
See ya'll soon
Posted by From the Heart of Alex at 10:57 PM
Sunday, December 5, 2010
I just wanted to let you know that my Blogger page has been changed. New Profile Banner, updated profile information and plenty of life stories to share. I am highly doubtful that I will get many followers, but that is ok. I am using this tool to document my life's journey and perhaps someday if someone stumbles into my blog, they will find something that will inspire them.
So, I hope that you all like the changes. I think because the page looked so "religious" it turned people off to peeking in. My faith and my beliefs are unshakable but I don't feel the need to push my believes on those who are unwilling to listen. However, my goal is to at least help and touch the life of one person.
My life experiences have taught me some valuable lessons and have brought me to where I am today and has made me the man that I am today. As time progresses, you will get to learn a bit more of my life and my experiences and hopefully my experiences can be helpful in some measure. Feel free to let me know what you think about the new page and feel free to ask anything you may want to know. I will be as honest and straight forward as I can.
Hope to hear from you soon....
Posted by From the Heart of Alex at 12:45 AM
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Hello My Friends,
Christmas season has officially begun at the Bermudez Household. Today we got our First real Christmas Tree. Honestly, I am trying my hardest to get excited about Christmas. This particular holiday has never been high on my list. I guess it's because my family never celebrated christmas when I was a child. I truly feel that christmas has just become too commercial, and kids now a days have become way too greedy and to selfish, believing that they deserve expensive gifts.
During Christmas, people tend to go beyond their means to give their kids gifts that they don't deserve half the time. I constantly tell everyone that I have no wishes for Christmas and I really don't want any gifts, but of course some feel the need to gift during this time of year. So, I guess that my Christmas would be that I finally get into the Christmas Spirit for the sake of my wife and my loved ones.
Today we went to get our first real Christmas Tree. It was a pretty decent experience. I am sort of glad we did it, because the tree does look very nice and the living room smell like pine. Eventually as Christmas gets closer I will get more into the spirit. I believe that once this whole surgery ordeal is done, I will be in a better attitude towards the season. I will keep you all posted on all aspects very soon.
Till next Time....
Posted by From the Heart of Alex at 8:53 PM
Friday, December 3, 2010
Hello Again My Wonderful Friends.
I know that only 2 People actually read this, but I need to write things down to put things into perspective. Today I have received surprising news during the pre-admission testing. After I had the EKG done, I was informed that I had a heart attack at one time and that there is slight damage to the heart muscle. The EKG does not provide in detail the severity of the heart attack, nor the damage that it caused.
It showed to indicators that points to a past heart attack and damage to the heart muscle. Now with this new development, the Anesthesiologist does not want to do the procedure without an Echo Cardiogram and a Cardiac Clearance. I am sort of disappointed because of this information. All this time I believed my cardiologist when he told me that my heart was fine and all I had was GERD.
Honestly, I had no idea that I had a silent heart attack and if it weren't for this recent EKG; I would have never known. It's a little bit scary because looking back, I can remember the night that it happened. Probably Susan remember this night. I was lying in bed while Susan was sleeping. This was several months ago. I felt a very sharp pain in my chest and my left arm. My heart began to beat very fast and I couldn't breathe. I actually cried because I literally thought that I was going to die. I never prayed so hard in my life. I prayed that Susan would not find me dead the next day.
Miraculously, it passed and I was given another day and many after that. However that night I commended my soul to God. I just kept picturing Susan's reaction if she would have woken up next to a lifeless body. I never want to experience that ever again. I am not afraid of death or dying, but I have so much to live for now and I can't see life; even in eternity without my Susan or my children. Now, knowing the truth is a little sobering.
This is why I am determined to get this surgery done, IF I am able to. Not being obese anymore will decrease any chances of it happening again. I understand my wife's apprehension and I know that she worries about losing me and I can't blame her, but I have a feeling that it will all work out. I just know it. If it doesn't; then I have to deal with whatever cards I am dealt. So, I will do everything that is required of me during the last days leading to the surgery.
I will meet with the Neurologist and the Cardiologist and work on getting the clearance if my heart is able to withstand the surgery. In the meantime, I will pray that everything works out as it should. I will keep you posted as things develop.
Posted by From the Heart of Alex at 9:28 PM
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Hello All My Friends,
Wow! Reality is finally sinking in that the surgery is only a week and a half away. Next Friday is the day that will change everything. It will change my perspective on things and the way I look at food. Fortunately for me, I am not addicted to food. Do I like to eat, Yes. But food is not my bee all and end all. I have just always had terrible eating habits.
I normally would not eat throughout the day and just drink massive amounts of coffee; all the while my body was starving even though I did not feel any physical hunger. By the time my dear wife Susan came home from work, I would make dinner and would have a ravishing hunger and I would make up for not eating all day.
Thank God that I have never been a big soda drinker. Don't like it too much, therefore that won't be an issue or a loss because I'm not crazy about it. I am not a candy or sweets eater either. Yes, I do like Cheesecake and other things but I am so ready to let go of all those things. Now when it comes to Arby's, Chinese Food and Lindor Truffles; that will be a different story; however, I will not allow anything to hinder my progress and these things have no control over me.
I always said that I would be comfortable in reaching 200 Pounds, but our dear friend Erin challenged me that I can make it to 175 Pounds. I accepted her challenge. I do have a little fear, but I am all for it. I am still trying to wrap my head around the concept that in about 6 Months, I will be almost 100 Pounds lighter. After all these years of being morbidly obese, I almost can't see myself thin.
In this journey, I am so fortunate that I have such an excellent support system. My wife Susan is the best wife and partner that a man could have. She is so real with me and has no problem in setting me straight when I want to stray from my plan. My son Alex is also a major encouragement in my life. He is so looking forward to my transformation and it has inspired him to change his life to.
My wonderful friends David and Erin are also a vital part of my life. They are also so encouraging and loving. They mean the world to me. All the people in my circle mean a lot to me. My life would never be the same without any of them. Susan, Ale, Melissa, David, Yari, Elijah, David and Erin. These are the people that inspire me to do better. To be stronger, to try harder.
Life as I know it will not be the same as of December 10th and I am welcoming every second of it. So, to all my loved ones I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am truly a blessed man. As the transformation takes place, I will be posting pictures of the changes as they happen. Once again. Thank you ALL and know that I love you more than you know.
Talk to you all soon.....
Posted by From the Heart of Alex at 9:39 PM